


Cold

by batyalewbel



Category: Babylon Berlin (TV)
Genre: Episode tag for either 2x07 or 1x15 depending on where you watched it, F/M, Gen, Kinda shippy kinda not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 23:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16252388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batyalewbel/pseuds/batyalewbel
Summary: Now he’s looking at her, brief glances away from the road and then sidelong when he faces forward.It’s not anger anymore in his question, he looks worried. Concerned even.“Where were you?” he asks again





	Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I SHOULD be working on my Avengers fic but Babylon Berlin has 8 fics on ao3 and only one’s in english so...y’know...had to fix THAT

_“You were looking for me,” he said._  
_I looked at him._  
_“In your dream. You were looking for me.“_  
_"I’m always looking for you,” I whispered.”_  
  
_― Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe_

 

When she thinks of Gereon, she thinks of tired eyes and a fragile mouth. Of warm hands that are surprisingly strong.

And of the way he smiles, small and crooked.

She finds her mind drifting towards him sometimes when she’s held in that cold room. In between worrying what might happen to her sister if she dies here. In between tears spent on Stephan who was so kind and didn’t deserve to die. In between a worry of whether it will hurt when she dies.

In between all of that, he slips in. As stealthy and silent as in real life, he slides into her thoughts the way he can enter a room with no one noticing.

And so he does with her thoughts.

Enter them without her even noticing.

She thinks about the way he casually pays for a shared meal.

Of his joyous abandon on a late night dance floor.

And the way his eyes seem to see right through her. Far too keen and knowing for comfort. And yet it feels good to be _seen._

Not seen the way men ogle her on the street. The way men in the club stare, or the ones in the basement who drink in the sight of her flesh greedily.

No, Gereon just looks at her, and sees _her._

How does he do that?

Maybe that’s why it stung a little more than she expected when she saw the way he looked at his girlfriend (or was it fiance? She can’t quite remember now. The cold makes her mind foggy and gray like winter)

Either way, she hopes somebody will come for her if she can’t get herself out. She’s not expecting anybody to be looking for her.

\---

She still feels the cold. In her fingertips and her nose. When she closes her eyes she’s back in that cold still.

But she got out, all on her own with the help of Stephan’s notebook. It was probably a terrible idea to tell that man what she had found in the notebook but it beat dying. Her heart almost stopped at the sight of her sister eating with that man.

But she hustled the girl out of there and prayed to a god she doesn’t believe in that, _that_ would be the end of it.

And then she went to find Gereon and tell him everything.

Now they’re in a car driving towards a train. She’s not quite sure what they’ll do when they get to the train but she trusts that Gereon will figure something out or she will.

And she’s so tired. She wants to lean her head back against the window and let the hum of car’s engine lull her to sleep. But she can’t do that as she keeps an eye on the maps.

Gereon too, has one eye on the road and one on the maps in her lap.

It’s been quiet for some time. Both of them focused on the task at hand when he asks her again, “Where have you been Lotte?”

It’s gentler now than his initial demand when she showed up at his door. He sounded almost angry then and she didn’t have time to deal with that or explain so she just kept talking until he shut up and listened.

He’s good at listening.

The way he held her gently when she was crying for Stephan. The way he said it wasn’t her fault that he died…

Now he’s looking at her, brief glances away from the road and then sidelong when he faces forward. It’s not anger anymore in his question, he looks worried. Concerned even.

“Where were you?” he asks again and she opens her mouth to answer and then sighs.

She has to look away from him, one hand coming up to cover her eyes as her traitor lip trembles.

“Lotte?” he asks, softer than before.

“There was a man,” she says, barely loud enough to be heard over the car’s steady rumble.

“He wanted to know about the train…” she pauses to look at him and there’s that worry again. That _seeing her._

She takes a breath and continues, “About gold on the train.”

“The Sorokin’s gold?” he mutters and now she looks at him.

“You knew about the gold?” she asks, frowning at him.

“The Countess Sorokina spoke of it. I thought she was telling tales,” he says, another worried flick of the eyes at her and then back to the road, “So what happened with this man.”

“He had some men grab me,” she says and there’s a small, sharp inhale from him at her words. She could tell him about the boy she knew from the railroad who seemed nice and offered to take her for a drink but she didn’t feel like drawing out every detail that made her feel like a fool.

“They locked me in a cold room. One of the men finally threw me my coat so I didn’t freeze I think.”

He looks at her, all edges, “For three _days?”_ he asks and she nods.

“I didn’t know about any gold so they would ask me and then throw me back in when I said I didn’t know anything.”

“How did you get out?” he asks.

Her smile twists into something less than that as she holds up the little red notebook.

“It seems Stephan knew more than either of us,” she says and her voice cracks, “I probably shouldn’t have told him anything but…” and her voice falls utterly to pieces, “I didn’t want to go back in there again.”

She puts that hand over to mouth to try and muffle whatever sounds might try to escape her next. She breathes through her fingers, trying to get herself under control and when a hand comes to rest on her shoulder.

“You did what you had to do to survive,” he says gently, and even through her thick coat and shirt she can feel his thumb rubbing along the curve of her shoulder, “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

She thinks she might burst into tears when she looks up and sees a huge truck driving down the middle of the road heading right for them.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm real mad about this show...because like I love it but also the whole end of the season (or season 2, Netflix why did you lump them like that?) was like...a LOT??? And I wish Charlotte had like 5 MINUTES?? To be like hey I spent 3 episodes locked in a freezer???? (Idk if it's 3 days that was a guesstimate but it sure felt like a fucking while)
> 
> Anyway I'm a mess I might write something about the whole car thing as a seperate fic because lordy 8 fics ao3?? 8?????
> 
> Also I may have gone on about Gereon for a bit just because...that boy...what a face.


End file.
